Bailey Sterling

I..don’t really know where to go from here.

I mean, sincerely. I know I still have a house, my dancing career, my family, my friends, but I feel like everything’s been taken from me. I built my future around him. Which was really stupid, in hindsight.

But I trusted him. Of course I thought he’d be there with me.

I wish I could look Ariel in the face. I wish I could hurt her, or…I know that I’m the other woman, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t hate her with everything in me. And the worst part is that I have to hate him now, too. I can’t go on in between like this. I hate him. I hate Zach Dumonte with my whole heart.

It’s done. All of it. Everything.

I never want to hear his name again, and I wish I’d never met him.

I’m twenty today. Officially no longer a teenager. It’s 8AM and I’m sitting here with my coffee and my annual birthday donut. (It’s the only time I let myself eat them, because they are SO bad for you.) I don’t feel twenty, you know. It’s weird. Oh well.

Anyway, Zero and I are going strong. We’ve been in some shitty situations but our relationship has held strong. Shockingly strong. Staggeringly strong. Honestly, I’m in love. I’m trying to detach myself, because he’s leaving in three weeks. But I can’t do it. When I’m around him it’s like I forget that I only met him last month and that he lives so goddamn far away. It’s just me and him and eternity.

…Well, enough of that. Happy birthday to me.

lovely, soft, warm, brown

they consume my consciousness

never close your eyes

a cold metal kiss

peanut butter and lemons

ten months might kill me

Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
‘cause it’s all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you around you
And I know that I’ll be leaving soon

My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And you see that I can’t stop shaking
No, I won’t step back but I’ll look down to hide from your eyes
‘cause what I feel is so sweet and I’m scared that even my own breath
Oh could burst it if it were a bubble
And I’d better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around, you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they’re on you
And I hope that you won’t hurt me

I’m dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music’s the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And I hope that you won’t hurt me
So I put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they’re on you
And I hope that you won’t hurt me